I heard and sang a beautiful song yesterday.  What made it most beautiful was the awareness it brought to me concerning my breath.  Not only was I breathing, but I was singing.  Singing from a place that was broken and abandoned, yet resurrected.  Different, but none the less, alive!

Over a year and half ago, I experienced such heartache and trauma!  It hurt to breath.  I would awaken from crying.  I didn’t even know you could cry in your sleep, but alas, I would awaken; breathless, in tears with the realization that it all actually happened.  The heartache was unbearable, but the depth of the despair was grave with the loss of hope and the realization that my dreams were shattered.

I would try to sing, but only gasps and pain would stir up from deep within.  I felt as though my voice was gone and dreams forfeited. However, yesterday… yesterday was different.  A day, that over a year ago, I could not foresee.  A day I realized the pain was actually healing.  That my heart was actually giving me permission to feel something other than rejection, despair or unloved.  Like, when you lay in your bed, unable to sleep because you are aware of your breathing… it becomes your only focus.

I was aware of my breath.  I was aware that healing was actually taking place and what feels like death, actually becomes the birth of something new.  When you are in pain, all you see, feel, smell etc. is the pain.  Words of comfort and promises of future betterment, fall short, but here I am!  Singing from a place of a new hope that what is now being made new, but that the most important thing is that He came!  He never left and He will continue to make things better, but in my place of “death”, He came.  That will always be the most important thing!  He has been my breath all this time, when breathing became impossible!  He truly does the impossible and you truly will heal!